3rd of Sept

The separation of two souls has reached a year; from the first day of it until the 369th of it, a lot of things have changed, and the images, the memories of us being together would definitely be locked away in your never-opened trunk.

Within this sorrow gap of time, the wound have stopped its bleed, things are going back to normal. The journey had led me to a few rose buds, which could bloom into beautiful roses, yet, nothing occurs. The solitary mind draws a barrier around and drown who's inside with loneliness, where the sense of belonging remains irrelevant. 

When a rose was plucked out of the soil, time will assure that the empty space will be filled. Then again, things could never be the same, as there will always be some traces left behind. Perhaps, life wasn't intended to be the same as before, it should be an improved version of the past. Sadly, words could came without much strength and actions, reality requires the fulfillment of requirements, especially the will, which could not be founded up until present time.

As if the mist on the glass, time blurs the pictures and the memories. However, what's known will remain known regardless how blur it gets, and the feeling remains as if the knowledge of the known. 

Solid evidences of the existence of our shared life should be removed, as some were, by a caring mother. Still, it is still preferred for the others to be kept, instead of being removed; the weight of heart increased, and stopped the intention of such act; they are kept, even knowing that they could never see the light again...

There's no more "if only...", just as there's no more hoping for future, with the excuse of passing things into God's hands. However, what's clear is the feeling - loneliness, which never left ever since that day. 

"I miss you. But I know it is just an one-way-route."

Inspired by The Fallin' Rain

Rain fell endlessly from the sky above. His sadness seems to be infinite, so does the weight rested on His heart. He's crying, whose tears were transformed into drops of rain.


It was a silent weep. No noise was made, except the noise of the drops reaches the earth and everything on it. But for a being on earth, that was enough to cover the crying occurred; a sound barrier that provides a private space for those who were in pain to reach in and let out.


For long, the weight carried lied hidden in one. Being too used to it somewhat erased the ability to let out. Perhaps it is of the reluctant to detach from an unusual company in soul, or perhaps it is of the pride of a man who is too much to be shed off. Hence, jealousy rose in him, towards Him and others like Him.


The loneliness from her departure, the sadness followed, and multiple emotions lined up next formed a chain on the heart and soul. Attempts were being made to break the chain, however, none would provide a truthful, lasting freedom...


Tiredness...became the end result of all these fruitless struggles and efforts.


But things won't happen without actions, even prayers would be included as an act. Thus, prayers were made to Him and it goes:
"Dear Lord, I am weak, tired, and fatten out. I feel sad, lonely, and regret. And thus, I pray upon Your might, to lift me of all these emotions that render my smile away. And thus, I pray upon You, to be by my side, my witness, and my strength to climb out this pit, along with the light You shed upon me. I know I am not alone at all. I have myself as company, I have You as company, and I have others as company. I love You and thank You."


Even though the tears couldn't fall on oneself, they could be expressed and carried out in other form. Expressions were meant to be made, not to be kept. Faith, love, and joy would be the best remedy. They might not be the key for the chain, but the chain will no longer be there when one is filled with positive(s).


"I love You and I admit it. However, as future is unknown, I could just wish for happiness and joy for both of us. Take care."