'Beer'

Slowly, the bubbles rise all the way up to the top. Unexplainably, your shadow seems to be present behind this unlikely curtain. Standing still in front of me like a vivid reflection, there’s no way for me to grab hold of you yet there’s no way for me to shake off this want of mine to stay. There’s a sense of warmth seeing you… There’s an incomparable coldness meeting you… Everything becomes like these bubbles, unclear but with a twist of clarity.

As much confusion as they bring, the bubbles literally dissolve in the air. Their existence is so short, so are you in reality; you never stay long enough, without trying to hint me to give up on this pursuit of mine. I never know why there’s always a part of me that cares so much about you until the whole me becomes so sensitive to your actions and words. Then again I never care much about it. All I care is whether my care and attention for you are like bubbles in your eyes?

The foams are never as tasteful as the drink below. Their existence bestows the drink below with an alluring figure. At the same time, they could be a barrier to fend off poor drinker, allowing only those who are considered to be worthy. It’s invisible but a similar existence is surrounding you. It’s put up intentionally by you and it actually fits finely. However, it always makes me wonder what it is for and whether I will be considered as the worthy one?

Like beer, you could always relief my mind off all the troubles of the world but at a price. Your smile, your actions, your feeling and everything else about you could cause addiction; the happiness, the warmth, the hope, the heartbreaks, the disappointments, the jealousy and every other emotion that follows you are making me your alcoholic. It could be difficult to swallow sometimes, but I never stop taking it all in......

The aftermath of having a drink is almost the same every time. Even so, I am still unable to restrain myself from thinking about you. This feeling for you is always being rejected, redirected, splattered and ignored; they always bring upon emotional breakdowns, desperation, confusions and doubts. Yet, I am unwilling to give up like a fool. My leftover conscious after drinking this bottle of beer is always focusing of being able to get hold of your hand through the foam and bubbles, for the rest of the time.

"You may not an essential in my life but you are someone that I don't wish to left out from my life. It's true that you could be a friend of mine but so can other girl. Why you? I wish I could tell you the answer as well but sadly I don't have any idea at all. Perhaps...you are my type of beer and I am somehow addicted to you. So, may God opens your eyes and heart to see and feel what I am doing and feeling."

A Pending Performance

The prelude was of nothing catchy. The beats used were slow and the keys involved were relatively same throughout the first few weeks; she was an ordinary girl, with a pair of spectacles and long, brown hair. There wasn't any thought that included her in the picture. Her identity was clear, being Ms. T.

The music played on and things started to show some signs of life. A few question marks were switched on. A small quarter inside was being occupied and a signboard, written "Ms. T" could be found there; the silence was broken, with attempts for conversation made.

It was then when one of the pieces involved over-charged. The beats were pushed too high in too short notice. The intended became so wrong. Two-ways turned into one and the conversation was made into interrogation; unanticipated intrusion of emotions and sensitivities flushed the whole song down the drain. The gate to her went shut, with a lock put on as well.

Without the key and without replacement, the whole play ceased. Everything was boxed and shunted aside. Huge pieces of cloth were laid on top every piece of instruments; silence came in and occupied every corner of the room. Nothing could really be done, so I turned my back and decided to walk away.

Yet, something was left behind. Every step taken became heavier and more gut-wrenching in time. Finally, I stopped but all the way back was a picture of Ms. T with another guy. It's not explainable but jealousy slapped me hard; hurtful and insulting words just rammed out, followed by regrets. It further complicated things, on top of the impression that her whole attention was focused on him.

Things were hopeless. Even so, the topics just couldn't help to be circling around her. The music was rewritten, prepared for a future of slim possibilities. There weren't any sweets given around that time, only some pills that required to be kept in mouth until it all melts away......

Now, I'm still on medication; my beatings aren't really normal and my emotions aren't really recognizable. The music still wasn't played properly to its designated audience. There was no idea on when she will be free to hear it out but there was no intention of dumping anything as well. 

May the time be the witness, as well as the judge......

Complication vs Simplicity

It's making me wonder, is the spectacles that I'm putting on makes the world as it is? I may enjoy a ew things that carry the 'complicating' tag in life, eg. music, story, tea, coffee, sports, games, etc. Then again, I never know that spectacles could be labelled such as well.

Still, I couldn't help but to wonder about the opposite. What is it in my life that is simple? It's definitely not my life, it's not my relationship either, nor will it be my family or my dressing, so?

It's then when I realize 'simple' does not exist in my life. In fact, I doubt it exists in anyone's life; even breathing is a complicated process. And to be feeling tired and sick of complications in life, I would come to one single complicated solution - suicide. However, I would need to figure out a way to die in the least painful, most handsome and worth-telling way......

Frankly, I am feeling quite miserable now. There're loads of complaints on the complications that I've faced today and tons of words to be used to express this emotional cocktail that my heart is drinking. After all, it's the reason why I would pick up my pen at the first place!

Somehow, when I wished to start this whole thing with descriptions of the mess in my head, things just got out of my hand and 'realization' just slapped me hard like I'm being an asshole to her.

Nothing in life is meant to be simple, nor are they born to be complicated. As far as I know, every human or living being is born to be a complicated organism, cells, tissues, muscles, organs, systems and the whole thing could go on and on. If so, 'simplicity' should be a non-existing factor in the universe, right?

Even though facts seem to be agreeing to it but when I come to think about it, who invented the phrase 'complication' and 'simplicity' anyway? It's one of the complicated living creatures known as 'human'......

So it might be true that 'simplicity' never exist in the world but I realize the same goes for 'complication'. After all, the term 'invention' means creating something that did not exist before, right?

And to be one of the most complicated beings on earth, we should be feeling blessed; everyone of us is capable of building something out of nothing or creating something that did no exist before.

Therefore, if you are like me, dislike complications and grow tired of them, why don't just throw away the "complicating" spectacles that we are wearing and see the world with our "simple" eyes instead? There I go again, complicating things up  ^.^

Good Morning

As she runs across the earth with an infinite length black cloth following her back, everything below gets shrouded by it. All in the sudden, a never-ending night seems to have occupied the sky of that world; with the absence of the moon and stars, the surrounding just got dominated by darkness.

A circumstance with no match or lighter at all; there's no telling on what's in front...

An environment with no noise or speech; there's no telling on whether there's life around...

It wasn't long before all kind of emotions come crashing down on me/you. The loneliness, fear, anxiety, hopelessness, helplessness, disappointments, regrets, anger, frustration, hatred, insecurity, depression, stress, and the negativity list might keeps on growing in length; what's used to be above just felt like coming down and the world just seems to be shrinking and narrowing.

Soon, every door is shut tight and every contact is shoved away. Everything will be literally pushed aside to make way for all the space and time that one instinctively need under such circumstance. Still, these settings are sometimes being forcefully bestowed upon a person. Regardless, the outcome remains unknown and the time could have just stopped there for the rest of lifetime.

"Are you being content being caught up in this forever?"

"Are you be hoping for no end to all these?"

"Are you enjoying every bit of these?"

Suddenly, in the dark, you notice someone is walking towards you and you couldn't believe your eyes of who you are seeing as the person gets closer; the "No"s that you gave in answering the questions slowly being materialized around you, as the You in front lay his/her hand on you and slowly hug you. The tears just flow down on their own and your cry breaks the silence.

As the inner sea starts to calm itself down, the shrunk world around you just got widen by all the "No"s and the spots of tears on the floor crystallized before shooting up to the dark sky, meeting somewhere at the far side of the sky.

Slowly, the orb formed by your tears shines, getting warmer and gaining orange in color. After a little while, an orange line is drawn across the black-colored sky; the fairies of the earth must have been waken up by the light, as they gracefully dance through the trees and grass, leaving a trail of positiveness: warmth, laughter, hopes, energy, smiles, etc.

Everything around regains their color and the sky turns light blue. The symphony of nature is played, by birds and other animals.

"Good Morning..."

There's always a Morning in life; you just need to look for it and there it will be, for you and only you.

Only You

When the car stopped and its door is unlocked, the driver left his seat to greet you and relief you of the hassle of opening the door to the passenger seat beside his; whether or not there's another car behind his at that time was of no importance at all.

Only after the belt rested softly across your breathtaking figure and the smoothing CD has been put on 'play', he then works his responsibility to drive you to the place that well-suites your grace and existence; when the journey started, necessity was no longer the reason for him to check on the side mirror nearest to you.

As the car travels along the traffic, he lowers down the air-conditioner, noted how vulnerable the fine dress have made you to the low temperature in the car; in order to keep your inner self warm and cozy, he started to sing along the "Singalongsong" that was meant only for you.

Slowly and softly he stepped on the break pedal, while you are detaching the seat belt, he offed the engine and walked down the car and get to the door on your side; when you were ready, he opened up the door and let your appearance shone through every corner of the street.

He kept his tag as driver and put on another, with 'security' written on it, then he walked you to the vintage, classy cafe that has been painted in mysterious orange just to get bit closer to the mysterious you; he offered his palm for yours to rest on it and opened up every door and inch of path in front of you.

Knowing how much the coffee tastes better when it is warm, he ordered a cup of hot mocha, complimented by a slice of fine cheese cake for you; the foam on the mocha exhibits the feeling of many, including himself, dedicated for you, while its taste carries only bitterness that is gentle enough for you.

Finally, he has muscled up enough courage to look right into the eyes of this mesmerizing, magnetizing angel on earth and talked, listened to you; how blessed he feels to play such roles in your life and how confused he is, knowing that he is bestowed with such privilege even when he is of such minor existence on this earth.

He just couldn't keep his eyes off you throughout the conversation, the same goes to his ears, heart and the urge to start telling you about your never-ending uniqueness; he excused himself, returned with tissues and a cup of water, when some of the mocha just couldn't bear to leave your cute, delicious lips. 

Automatically, his phone came out from his pocket and started to snap your pictures of every single action and smile; every instinctive click on the button just reminded him of how lucky he is and every scene taken shunt renowned paintings of ladies, like "Mona Lisa", "The Birth of Venus" and "Girl with a Pearl Earring".

You are fine beyond your understanding and the universe's comprehension until your existence should only be fit in heaven; the Mr. 'Timekeeper' got so caught up by your beauty until he forgot to maintain the pace of the passing time as it should be and hours just flew away in light-speed...

He stood up, moved up beside you and opened up his hand to accept the blessing by your soft and gentle touch; step by step he led you down the stairs and out from the cafe before it got overwhelmed by your intolerable physical and personality. 

The journey back went slow and steady, inevitably, the whole city gathered along the route which he taken with you just to have a glimpse of this heavenly individual; the 17th track, "够不够" came in at the very time and he sang it, while looking at you with a smile, trying to be playful and cheeky around you.

Sharp at 12, the princess has been sent to her doorsteps and he was going to leave his car to service you again; however, before he did so, he said "Thank you" while looking at you, then slowly, he got close and kissed you on your cute cheek, knowing he will be damned for doing such to a sweet, sweet angel like you.

"Girl, may I be your driver and security guard for the rest of my life? I am crazy in love with You and I know you know it. So please don't do anything cruel to me for I could be as fragile as a piece of glass..."