It wasn't long...

The dust jumped around happily on the road, thrilled by the passing by of the carriage; followed behind it was the whining of the rocks being ran over by the wooden wheels; followed by that a man who walked on the side of the jagged road; followed behind was just a shadow.

It wasn’t long… The evening sky showed her sympathy towards the rocks; her live-giving children jumped out of her arms and fell happily onto the rocks and the man, playing the rhythm of the rain along the way. And it wasn’t long…for the lamps shone upon the jagged stage as the curtain of night unfolded upon the earth.

His shadow managed to get a short rest in the arms of his dark mother. It wasn’t long until he came back to the company of the man as windows along started to light up. It wasn’t long…until the men, white and black stopped in front of big house where the carriage stopped and lifted their head…to see the house of the falling children with their eyes under the edge of their black hat, pondering…

A unity of purple and indigo…with no stars, no moon, no clouds but the cute watery children from heaven; a guy stared upon the same sky from the window of his room. It wasn’t long until he turned his sight away from her who lives above us; away to the orange coloured tar road with cars driven back and forth on it. The children that fell from the sky pulled themselves up, holding tight to the passing rubber wheels, whistling and singing in joy.

It wasn’t long… A car roamed across his sight; a decent, black, single-door beauty who froze the guy in time with her mesmerizing eyes and beauty. It wasn’t long until he snapped out of it when the alarm from his phone sounded and reminded him of the night that awaited him. It wasn’t long for him to finish dressing up and laid a vital, final touch; a cap to complete his uniform.

He locked the door of his room and left the rental sign behind with his rusty. It wasn’t long until both him and his trustful, loyal friend stopped at the junction by a red. As the moving lights passed by in front of him, he stared at the red above him; the 90 plus seconds displayed were the thing he saw before he turned his sight to her above the traffic light, recalling the beauty that stoned him, and wondering…

It wasn’t long... A man with black coat and black pants lost his attachment to the road when it changed its dark outfit to orange… Perhaps so or perhaps not; at least, the road and his black shoes seemed to be very familiar with each other; at least, the black triby hat of his got brighten up by the lights above him. It wasn’t a lonely picture for the friends on him but himself; it wasn’t a lonely for the road and lights but his shadow.

It wasn’t long and the theme of the picture changed; the loneliness of the man and his shadow touched her who lives in heaven and some of her children came to their company. Pair after pair of warm eyes of the cars passed him and his shadow from behind, followed by the children’s siblings who waved to their brothers on him. And from time to time, there were more and more children who hugged him; a cold picture for some, maybe a warm picture for him.

Step by step he walked down the road. It wasn’t long until he held his step. And it wasn’t long for him to turn his sight towards the passing vehicles. It wasn’t long…he stared upon the heavenly her under the edge of his triby hat, thinking…

“It wasn’t long for many things to happen; it wasn’t long for me to feel like crying; it wasn’t long for me to feel the pain of falling down; it wasn’t long…wasn’t long at all…
But I ponder, wonder, and think…
How long would it take for me to get to what I wished? How long would the time left for me? How long would the rough time in my life be? How long would it take for me to know who I really meant to be?
I dreamt to be somebody, I wished to make myself noticed and proud of, at least like the rich but will it be wasn’t long? How long will that wasn’t long be then? How…long…”

Happy birthday...

In a blink of an eye and it’s already 6th of June, my 20th birthday.

Birthday, huh? What is the meaning of birthday? At least…what is the purpose of celebrating my birthday?
It’s true that I used to wish for others to celebrate with me, seeing others have their celebration with their friends and the “star” carries a huge and sweet smile on their face actually sores my heart. I am indeed envy them a lot.
I did quite a lot of stupid things and the stupidest thing I ever did is to remind others when my birthday is going to be. Maybe attention is very important to a little grass in the field back then or maybe popularity is something that the little stone on stony road wished for…
19 years have passed and I have celebrated a few of my birthdays. They aren’t something like what I saw but they are special to me. And the funny part is last year birthday celebration, I guess… A wish that didn’t come true but turned worst, a wish for friendship to last but ended faded in the flow of time.
I should be happy, shouldn’t I? After all, today is my birthday and I’m heading out for movie with my friends. Still…I just don’t seem to feel up to it, I mean I just couldn’t draw a smile on my face. At least…it’s better than a smile that turned upside down, right? Or perhaps I’m comforting myself?
In all these years, I picked up a lot of things but at the meantime, I lost much more. I made myself a clown, I hurt others’ feelings……
Usually, people won’t think about these stuffs on their birthday, do they? Or maybe they do and I just started to grow up, that’s why my action seems to be strange even to myself?
19 years have gone on the time-express and on the first day of my 20th, I’m no longer a person who’ll wish for any celebration for this day in future cause I am not a little grass or a little stone anymore.
“Sorry for those 19 years, I apologise to all of you.”
“The little grass isn’t dead but it has grows. It’s true it’s still a meaningless grass on the wide field, but it’ll be a fertile weed.”
“The stone can’t grow or move itself away. That’s the solid fact but it doesn’t mean that it can’t changed its’ thinking and be thankful for be able to be on the rocky road.”
“Happy birthday……”

1.36 p.m. That was the time displayed on the screen of my phone. And I just couldn’t help myself but to wonder…what I will be doing right at this time if it isn’t 5th of June today, if today is not in the month of June but week day in May before 22nd of May 2009.

“Maybe I’ll be eating at this time?”

“Maybe I’m having a decent time joking with you all in the office?”

“Or maybe I’m pranking someone right now?”

The same songs are being played now. I had the same set of earphones and the same playlist back at those days. Everything seems to be the same yet everything seems to be different. At least…the feeling I’m having differs from what I felt back then. I guess feeling differs when the location and the occasion varies; Those days where I was…someone that shared a part of your primary life, those days where I was talking in front of you all, those days where I was staring at you guys, comparing you guys with my primary self.

Nothing is left by now, nothing but a thin film of the past. Sad, angry, happy, shock and confusion…those scenes can no longer be played back and I could not recall the reason of me having those feelings anymore. I guess…I am really a forgetful person…

I’m sorry cause by now, I still can’t remember all your names or which class are you guys from. Still, those feelings that you all gave me still linger in my heart. Those feelings stood firmly in me like a monument, a monument named “Feelings gave by friends”. Maybe and just maybe…Chu Kok Hou is someone who brings no pictures but only feelings and emotions with him whenever or wherever he left.

“Thank you.”

I thank you all from within my heart...for each and everyone of you, no matter who you are, you guys gave me an irreplaceable memory of feelings, for you all help to mold the Chu Kok Hou now.

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“It’s an unknown when or where we’ll meet again. It’s an unknown whether we may regconise each other anymore in future days. But I pray for you all to be able to walk the right path which leads to your dream.”