Rain after sunny day

People used to say sunny day comes after the rain...

Questions started to swirl around their mouth, when someone says rain comes after sunny day. It's understandable...so, I guess I'll be asked whether I have type the wrong thing, am I trying to be the unique guy under the sun or am I normal???

"The sunlight shone through the lourve window of my window and touched my face..."

"Things were falling to their own place, like the the brownish leaf that were falling in the park...."

"...and the dragonfly brought along the fog as it flew over the clear pond (truth).."

The seed just continue to grow and how much I wish she'll be able to sit beside me, witness the growth of it inside me...

Slowly,

"HE tried on his dark coat.."

"...I lost the warmful touch of the sun.."

"..and HE cried cause HE was touched by our story.."

Stress was laid on me like a blanket; Study started to turn on the red light. Somehow, I think I found the old, dusty stressful mask inside the old memory trunk.

I promised the one in the mirror, I won't try to find an exit for this. And I'm telling myself, the rain will ends. By that time, I want to hold her in my arms and let the falling stars dresses our sight...

Redirecting

I'm feeling the curtain is falling over our story. I tried to hold on the rope as hard as I can, but somehow, doubt covered my sight, those words of yours just laid a shot to me from behind...

Am I that lousy? Or I was a fool from the very beginning till the very end? Tell me, girl...what makes you pushed me aside. Don't say those words, I know them, I heard them and for my own sake, I'm so bored with them as well..so, tell me something new, would you?

The smile on your face when "Kok Hou's no longer waiting for you" and "Kok Hou doesn't love you anymore"; I can't see them but I can imagine them...imagining them being displayed on your cute face.

At this time, may be you're thinking that things have settle down for both me and you. Or may be you think that I'm through with you. Think, all those are what you think and I don't know whether I want to burst your bubble and set up a cinema of my heart in front of you.

You're treating me bit like last time but I still can't really let go of the little love portion that I mixed up within me, and those smiles of yours when I was said making a thousand mile gap between us...

Sadness, ignorant, helpless, all those things that bothered me back then and now. I don't know what to do with them, should I see them as a gift from you? Should I treat them as my little pets? Or should I give them the position you own?

My own alarm is being sounded; I'm tired, too tired to get over everything all over again. I build up an imaginary castle inside my head and tried to find its perfect owner from time after time, and now..I will step on the break, raise a giant hammer, and smash the whole thing to the ground; The castle, the mind, the feeling...

And those presents that you gave me, I'll take them as a part of my life, as keepers of my memory about you...

And...I'm redirecting them onto something, I'll train myself on basketball and from now on, I'll aim for noone or nothing..but to be the star in a team.

Let the curtain falls then...let it falls with a sad actor sitting alone on the stage of life...

It doesn't matter

You may know me to be a sensitive guy, you may know me to be an annoying fellow but..let's just say I'm more than meets the eye.......

People have their own freedom to think whatever they want about me; They can say I'm a jerk, they can say I'm a fool, they can call me a bastard or even a turd. But I got so used to it that I don't mind what rubbish come out from their bloody mouth. Plenty of people are pro in being a reporter, spreading bad things about others and I guess you must have a certain fame till others' jealousy reach the red zone, till they need to do something to relief themselves. I understand they're pretty pityful..I know.....

I don't mind what other say about me, but I did mind what you said about me...

One question, notice I use "did"? I don't know what's playing through your worry head right now, you may mean it when you tell others that I'm not your type, bla bla bla. I guess you already know that feeling is something that noone can explain. Don't agree? Uh huh, no need to say it, ssh...

You may say I sound like a jerk, say whatever you like cause you know what, I don't care a shit. I know you'll be boilled when you see what I say but I care too much about others sometimes, till I lost my life. I have enough, girl...read my lips, ENOUGH!
I'll still store you inside the dusty hard-disc of mine whether you like it or not. So, you can try to do something to piss me off, twist my mind or whatever. But let me tell you, since you're trying that badly to shut your door, why don't you just use those time to ask yourself whether things are really as what you tell others? Are you really letting things go?

Pump your face up as hard as you want, boil your blood up as hot as you want. I care about you too much...and now, no more.
I'm going to turn the table and damn, that's right.

Go on and tell the whole world that I'm not your type, but hear me...I'm pretty good in making girls fall for me and you're a girl, what makes you think that you can escape?

I choose the path I want and whatever you want to do or say, none of it matters. Sorry, it doesn't matter to me anymore.

I'm going to...

For days I have sat on the emotional rollercoaster, I really thought that it'll never stop and I'll never set foot on the solid ground again. I really did......

I openned my heart and mouth, letted every restrained words within me out. Each and every word came out from my mouth, each and every images that played inside my head, they acted like an amplifier; Reminding me how important one has becomes to me, reminding myself how stumbled I have become. I just couldn't do anything to help myself out of this, in sudden sweep of the falling star, I have become so helpless.

I guess such feeling isn't a stranger to you...

Actions and sights of others on me, things just make me look like a bad guy. I regconise those faces, happy faces of all of you. But now, you all are putting on the angry or distest mask towards me. Is it wrong..was it a mistake or a feeling that I shouldn't bear or shouldn't let out? Or may be...you all are like this all the time, it's just...I'm too dumb to realise it..

I wish to question, I wish to ask and how much I wish that I can get hold on the answer that I'm looking for, hoping for. However, I don't think I can write the question out on the white board and ask you all about it, I just couldn't do so; I just wouldn't want to treat you all in such way, especially you...

I did care whether a red light is shed on the path, but I don't care now. No matter what you do, no matter what you all do...I just won't step on the break padle and lift the handbreak. It's true, I won't no matter how much it'll make you all hate me, no matter how many of those faces I'll have to see.

I have enough of being botherred that badly and I'm tired of it as well. I promise to the falling curtain on earth, I will use those bothers that I got and channel them on what I like to do; I'll bring them along like my beg, whether I'm on the basketball court, in school or at home.

Let's take this as......something to save you inside my memory.

tell me, girl

Three days have passed; Three days since the little conversation we had, three days since I brought along a different heart to school, and three days...people around kept popping out question marks for me about...ME! Yeah, it may sounds confusing but that's all I can use to describe what their questions usually about, it's either my behaviour or my look...

People always call those who dream under the sun a white-day-dreamer. I didn't really bear that title for all these time, but......within those three days, I think perhaps...I have eventually play a role inside the story "Sleeping Beauty". It's just this time, the prince is the one who sleeps, I mean his mind and I don't think there's an ending where the prince wakes the princess up, then live happily in far far away.

Here's the funny part, I know I was bothered but I could't see clearly, what is troubling me and I know I was going to sit on the throne of blur kingdom, it's just...I couldn't put down that honour; My concentration ran away like the piggy being chased by wolf, my awareness just roamed freely like animals inside the jungle, in fairy tales. And till the bottom line, I was so helpless like the granny inside the wolf's tummy.

How I wish...I can blame this on someone, may be the bad, old witch or the hungry wolf. But I know, that just won't happen. At least......I think I have restrained myself to blame you, you or you, no matter what happen. I guess I just couldn't sit on the judge's chair...

Every fairy tales ended with a happy ending, I hope that this lousy story of mine could meet up with a turning-point or the princess inside the story could open her heart once more to the prince. If the writer found it's hard to let the story goes like what I hope, then.....may be He could write the princess would move her beautiful lips and tell the dwarf knows what she wants...at least that...