Love Story

"What you'll do if we ever break up?"

"... Please don't talk about that."

"Don't worry. It's just a discussion, it's not that I'll ever leave you."

"If we break up, I'll never be with another guy again cause for me, you're my only one in life."

"Oh..."

"You? Could you promise me something? I know it's selfish of me but could you not do the same as what we did with other girl in future?"


"I promise you. You? Could you promise me the same thing?"

"Urh.."

"If one day, I want to leave you. What would you do?"

"I...don't know."

"Why don't you hold tight on my hand and never let go?"

"Could I? Will that work when you want to leave me?"

"It will. It will for sure."

"..."

"Then, let us do this in future, k? If anyone of us want to leave the other, the other one will hold one no matter what, k?"

"Urh... But it won't happen, right?"

"Yea."

An awkward conversation for a pair of couple who was deeply in love with each other ended with her innocent smile. And who will have guess it, what seems to be a conversation could ever come true? Nearing the end of the second year of the three years relationship, the guy's heart was moved...

"I think I like somebody else."

"..."

"I'm sorry. I just don't want to hurt you. Why don't we end this whole thing?"

"Do you think that ending this won't hurt me? I just don't want it to happen. You could be with the person you like but please don't end it."

"... But..."

This was how much she loved the bastard; she was willing to bear the cuts and bruises, as long as she could be together with the guy she loved the most. However, the pain is too much to be carried by most and finally the sound of her hope snapped was clearly heard and she cried.

"Let's end it then..."

Her tears streamed down her cute face, replacing her sweet smile. And she ran straight into the heavy rain. The bastard was stunned but he ran following her again. He hugged her under the rain. He brought her back to the shelter and promised her that it was all over, that he will never leave her cause he just couldn't bear the heartache seeing her cry.

Two broken pieces was brought together again. And perhaps, it was foolish for the guy to think that there won't be any crack in between. He regretted and he tried to make it up to her. However, all these are just scenes playing inside his mind, instead in reality...

Time passes. The half cold relationship carries on but the moment he left to other state to study, those sweet conversations, those heart-filled messages are getting lesser and lesser. She told the guy that she felt that she knows lesser and lesser about her love, somewhat lesser than his friends. However, he didn't feel the same and the conversation just ended up in a fire powder keg.

"I think I like another guy."

"Who's that?!"

"Someone that you don't know..."

The girl told the guy this and he went berserk, totally furious about it. As the argument goes, he got to know who is that person in her heart. However, it wasn't important cause in the end, he decided to forgive her...

"I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't do this... I still love you, always..."

That was what she said to the guy. During that time, the idiot just didn't realize that how much fear is the girl carrying, how lost was the girl; he was just an idiot throughout the whole thing, an idiot who just know how to be angry instead of concerning about her. Even though the final decision is forgiveness but it didn't change the fact that he was a selfish idiot.

"Don't treat me too good, k? I don't know how to face you."

"Don't feel regret, k? I also did the same. I love you. That's why I treat you good. I just couldn't control myself or I want to."

"..."

"Still... I really don't know how to face you. I need some time apart."

"I don't want. Why?!"

"..."

"Let you choose then. Continue to be by my side or break? There's no option such as "some time apart"."

"Break then."

"..."

He was lost, totally lost. He was in rage, then again, he was totally in mess. Once again, the two pieces cracked and pulled apart. However, there was still some lines that remain unbroken between them. And after rage and anger, the guy tried to joint those pieces back for the first time.

After one day, as requested by the girl, the answer was still to end this. The guy cried. In his head, he just don't want it to end. He asked and asked for the whole thing to have a turning point. But the answer was just "No" and "No". However, after he wiped his tears, he decided to try to fix the whole thing. And so, he sent her an email asking for another chance. The reply is that she needs some time to think over...

Within that time interval, the guy lived in fear. And on Tuesday night, he went to buy a teddy for her, as well as a little card to apologize to her with his ill body, after having classes for one whole day. For once, he smiled cause he could imagine seeing her smile when she sees him.

Thursday, he got on board the 1 o'clock bus without any hesitation. In his mind, he knows what he wants and what he needs to do. Two and a half hour on the seat, his mind was just filled with memories, where they were smiling and being very sweet. Two and a half hour on the seat, he checked the bear from time to time to assure that it won't get dirty.

Finally, he reached his hometown, the place where he met this wonderful girl he loves. Straight away, he headed over to the place where she was having tuition class. Another session of waiting begun but he had no complaint because in his heart, he was both happy, excited, confused and scare; he was happy to be able to see her, he was excited to see her expression when she saw him, but he was confused about what had been across her mind within these days, he was scare that she would give him a negative answer or she will be coming out of the class, holding the hand of another guy; he just couldn't bear another slap on him.

An hour plus passed and she came out, he missed her but then, he ran downstairs, praying that she'll be downstairs, instead of somewhere else already. He ran up to her, then he ran back to get the bear and card, and passed to her. He noticed her hands are occupied and so, he decided to hold the bear for her.

The moment he started to open his mouth, her face changed...

"Why you come to find me? I don't know how to face you. I'll find you if I want to see you."

He was frozen by her reaction but he snapped out of it and kept remaining silence. Then, he approached her again to apologize. But there weren't any positive response from her. Finally, it got too much to bear and he left her. However, he just couldn't stop worrying, so, his eyes followed her from a distance until seeing her got on board the bus. Only then, he headed on to the journey home.

It was a tiring day for the guy and so, he slept very early. However, it was a sleep that he will never wish to wake up from; the next morning, the first thing he knew was that she decided to cut off those line and what was one had become two.

He called and cried again. Still, what he got are those cold replies. However, in his heart, decision was already made for him to go after her again in future, even until now, where she's already with the guy that she once told the guy that she didn't like him.

He believes that it is karma, as what she said. He believes that these are punishment which he needs to endure. Even though knowing her being with another guy torn him apart totally, but he still reluctant to let go; he decided to wait silently but from time to time, he still cries and blames, not on her but on himself for not cherishing her before this.

He's crying now. I could hear his voice and sadness...

"I know no matter what happen to me, or whatever I do now will not change a thing. You will never know nor will you care. I have been thinking of ending this whole thing in a stupid way but I didn't do so. I wished to blame you like what you asked but I just couldn't. I'm nothing to you now but it is not important to me, even just being your lifetime guardian angel, that is already content for me. Sometimes, I really wish that you will change your mind but I know you won't be, part of me don't wish you will too cause I don't deserve you and you seem to be happier right now. Sorry for unable to wish both of you to be happy cause of my stupid selfishness...

I will wait for you no matter how much it hurts, not because of those promises or anything else. It's just because I love you, Chee Hui Xin."