Reflections

Slowly... My eyelids lifted, my body rose, my legs set and into the dim, I walked. 

Here I were, standing in front of a wooden wardrobe. My hands laid upon the handles. The grips were tighten but no further actions were made.

Out of the window, in the dark, I saw nothing. Yet in this nothingness, I sensed loneliness, unsettlement, fear, sorrows and regrets.

I am lonely, I am unsettled, I am afraid, I am in pain and I am in regrets. Still, it was insisted that both of the grips on handles started to move further away from each other.

The picture of me hugging her for the first time, the picture of her walking alone behind me, the picture of her lying beside me, the picture of her smiling after crying, the picture of her playing with me, the picture of her sitting there on the bench, the picture of us arguing, the picture of her crying behind my back, the picture of me being resentful and not understanding, the picture of us hugging, the picture of us kissing, the picture of us having meal together, the picture of her trying to improve me, the picture of her being tired in teaching me, the picture of her offering her hug, the picture of me staring at her, the picture of her waiting for my reply, the picture of me being addicted to games, the picture of us having a walk together, the picture of her hoping for my company, the picture of me ignoring her, the picture of her appreciating me, the picture of me being proud to have her, the picture of her having her hair dressed, the picture of me driving her, the picture of me giving her spaces, the picture of her wishing for my call, the picture of us breaking up, the picture of me smiling with tears, the picture of her being indifferent, the picture of her...the picture of me...the picture of us...

One by one, they caught the light. One by one, they started burn away. One by one, they turned into ashes...right in front of me and I couldn't do anything to protect them. 

The tears flow down from my eyes and the same happened to her. The heart cracked within me and the same occurred in her. The picture of our future shattered and the pieces fell in front of our eyes.

I plead. I prayed. Then again, the one who wasted her love deserved no opportunity anymore. 

How much I wished to scream. How much I wished to tell. Regardless, I could never reach into her again. 

I pushed. I understood. I changed. Perhaps the progresses are too tiny to make any dent on the tall wall surrounding her.

How much I wished to reconcile. How much I wished to have.Still, all I could do is just watching her leaving...

Suddenly... There is a warmth feeling coming from my back, two arms are laid around my waist, her forehead rested on my shoulder and to her, I turn, hug and kiss. 

The dim slowly brighten up. I go close to her ears, while appreciating the smell of her hair, I whispered, "I love You, girl...from the past, at the current and until the future." 










"I can be the happiest and most blessed guy on Earth thanks to you. I smile and enjoy every moment of life because I have you. Even when you are not by my side, I can be what I said, because You are always right here, all I need to do is just to look at the mirror..."