"You expect so much for what?"
A simple question becomes complicated when it is displayed out in the bright screen of the cell cause the reader has no answer; he doesn't know what to say or how to reply the question, he was stoned. Deep inside, he knows very well how this conversation will end up; deep within, he is asking himself to do the same as what others asked him to do...
"Cause this is the reason why I will do all these stupid things, why I'll continue to hold on even though badly bruised. I know it's a fool's dream. Sorry."
Words by words, his finger typed out the reply. He knows that his friend is going to ask him to let go just like the others because they think it's not worth it. And perhaps, it is really unworthy but he just know that he still love her. For him, that is all that count and enough for him to go through all these...
He's tired mentally and physically. His eyes' lids are getting heavier but the reply that he hoped still doesn't reach him. A word "soon" is not enough to convince him that she's already safely return to home. 12 when the word reaches him, it's 1 and the cell in his palm still doesn't show her name. He keeps pushing on, his mind starts to have a lot of negative pictures run through like some kind of slide show but he refuses to send another message to her, afraid of annoying her. Soon, it's 2...he continues to wait...
"She will message me if she concerns about me being worried over her."
In his mind, there's a debate going on; he conscious knows that she will not be, knows that most probably she will sleep straight forward without him coming across her mind but his heart believes that she will at least send a simple word of "home" to him because she knows that someone will be worrying about her.
This little debate could actually last for eternity cause the judges of two supports different point as well; his friend voices out that the hurtful fact that he is reluctant to accept, which refer to their relationship is already a past and he has no need to worry about her or right to ask her, while himself on the other hand, thinking that there's no need for the "need" for him to worry about her because he wants to and he could do whatever he wants, just like what she said to him.
This little debate could actually last for eternity cause the judges of two supports different point as well; his friend voices out that the hurtful fact that he is reluctant to accept, which refer to their relationship is already a past and he has no need to worry about her or right to ask her, while himself on the other hand, thinking that there's no need for the "need" for him to worry about her because he wants to and he could do whatever he wants, just like what she said to him.
The issue about "rights" is always tough for him to accept but he knows that it is already a solid fact. And he knows that he may twist the meaning of her words as well, the moment he thinks that. However, he just wants to do so. And so, he waits and waits. It is never a fair debate, cause no matter what is the outcome, he will just continue to be the fool in others' and perhaps her eyes, even until now, the moment he's typing this.
What time he sleeps? He doesn't know as well. All he know is that the cell doesn't show the thing he wished throughout the night, after he does the first thing that goes across his mind the moment he opens up his eyes in the morning, without taking a step down his bed...
"You must be thinking that he's a fool, right?"
"Me too..."
"...but still, I want to be that fool, even though every darn day, he feels that himself is more and more stupid."
"Reason?"
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