Retribution...
Standing on the edge of the roof, looking up to the starry sky, breathing deeply, with every breathe filled with despair, regret, confusion; instead of knowing that she'll be waiting for me, I'm totally depressed cause I know that it's already a past.
White mist coming out from my mouth and everything is cold but the "water" has dried up. All alone, accompanied by nothing but those "wh-" questions; who am I? What am I supposed to do? What's she trying to tell? What's the ending for this whole thing?
Supposedly, the articles titled "S", "O", "R", "R", "Y" meant to bring things back, to undo this whole nightmare, but who ever expected things gone out of track before the second "R" to be finished. Life is really filled with things that are out of our expectations, at least, it is out of my expectation, as till this very moment, I still couldn't accept the fact that we have separated.
One more step from here would end every darn thing... One more step and I would be freed from these...
I know "let go" is the alternative and everybody is asking, telling, convincing me to take that route but perhaps I didn't change, perhaps the old me is still here; I know I ain't gonna let go cause I don't want this whole darn thing to end no matter how much it's going to toll me, and I'm doing it, with every little strength that I could spare, every ounce of hope that I could make up.
It really bothers me to know as if I'm nothing in your life; you're glad that I could get listeners cause at least you know I won't do anything stupid as now, I know you care but, the little me just couldn't help to feel that you behaved so not because of the old feeling we shared, but just concern towards a normal friend. I know the little me most probably is right, but the unwilling of mine to accept that fact started the fucking struggle within me again.
I know my life in the past was filled with shits as well, and I swallowed them without much trouble. Everyone around me believes that I could do so as well, but I doubt I could cause swallowing it means losing her, even though I already lost her...
120,982 stories high are enough to end everything... Falling down from one story to another, the memory hits "rewind" and when my head nearing the floor, I'm standing in a room, with her sitting in front of the me who is still blue... The smiles on each others' face...dragged me out from staying in my mind.
It is what I deserve, and I know whatever shit I typed will not be seen by her. Even if does, she will no longer be of a difference than others. Still, I just want to say this...
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