Thursday, 6 September 2007

....


Slowly, the curtain of rain falls over the earth; Gracefully, it dances across the pathway in front of me . And with rhyme, it touches every inch of my skin.

It has been a while, a while since I ever sit under the falling tears of His. Watching drops by drops of tears slowly become clearly shown, as it's dropping from His gloomy face, reflecting the light when it falling pass the yellowish light of the street lamp beside me. Such view......it really has been a while since it shows in front of my eyes...

Inch by inch, it flows from the forehead to the chin of my face. Its pace is just same as the pace I closes my eyes, the pace I opens back my eyes..

Every drops of rain was clearly caught by my eyes and His gloomy face, a face without any cheerfulness... It just couldn't help stirring up my mind, making me wondered is that how your face looks like when I posted those questions to you. But still, it also questioned me, whether you're afraid? Whether you're blaming yourself? Or maybe..you're thinking you don't want to owe me anything, don't want to owe me when one day, we ended up in breaking apart...

Questions and guesses, they're all around my head, just like the beautiful stars in the night sky that I'm sitting under. Suddenly, I realise, I'm being confused with my mind and the solid reality around me; It's a beautiful night, but inside of me, the feeling of it is so strong, so strong till it confuses me...there's no rain at all on the outside, but it's a different story inside of me...

I feel the rain dances from my eyes to my chin. Rows by rows, it moves to my chin. And when I lift my finger and put on my cheek, my senses tell me it's not an imginary rain, it's not tears from Him, but......

Every splash of it puts me on a back-track mode; Everything about you, everything that happened to you, and everything that you did replay in front of my eyes. The soft voice of yours, the mesmerising eyes of yours, the cute face of yours, the sweet lips of yours, the warm touch of yours, the star-like smile of yours, and many other things bout you just reply in my mind...

"If only you're here, right in front of me right now..."
"...I'll hold you tight in my arms, and kiss you gently on your forehead.."
"...telling you how much you mean to me, telling you.."
"..how much I love you.."

There was plenty of times where I put you in a messed mind. I don't know why I'll be so sensitive towards every actions of yours, I don't know why I always behave like so......
It's true, that none of us has the ability to see the future and we won't know what is going to happen on the next second. But at this very moment, and I believe this will last forever in me, I do really love you cause the feeling comes so strong, so strong...

Slowly, I feel a touch is laid across my face; I open up my eyes with a hope it's you. But I know it won't be you, not this time. It's just a wind that sympathies me...trying to comfort me..
In my mind, the quiet is broken by the cry of His. But in reality, the quiet around the park is being broken by......

The word "break up" feels like repeatative stabs, randomly stabbed into every inch oy my body. And I don't know whether I can bear the pain if one day, what I said really comes true...I'm not confidenced that I can deal with those blows in my life.

The feeling is already so strong when I typed it out to you in that question of mine. And I really hope, that you'll sound confirm that it won't happen. You sound confidenced that it won't happen. But then, perhaps...I'm hoping for something that...noone can guarantee me or convince me with..

The uncertainty in your words...
The thought of you..
The "break up" in my question..

They all make up to be a powerful spell, a spell that tells me how much you mean to me, a spell that makes the rainny day of mine...

The sky started to get brighter by second, and I know I should keep the imaginary rain of mine remains in my imagination...I stand up to witness the rise of the "happy face of yours", inside me, I bear a hope, a hope that tells me this will last long..a hope that defines every stupid thoughts of mine..a hope that one day, one day, I'll be able to watch the sunrise together...a hope..

The sleepy sun is greeted, by the leaving shadow of mine..and the hope I bear...




sorry to make you worry bout me all these time..
sorry if i ever make you sad..


I trust you, Hui Xin..
n I love you, girl..you'll always be my girl..
..Xin,

You mean alot to me..you really do~





1 comment:

CyNd! Ch3e said...

Im really really very sorry.. I know i shudn't lose hope in our relationship.. but.. i juz duno y.. sometimes.. it'll juz play in my mind... thinking tat if.. one day.. if we really break up.. wad will happen..

I don hope we will break up.. and i don want it to happen.. mayb sometimes im "too good" in thinking.. im sorry to make u being bothered because of my words.. i know it's my wrong.. my bad.. im sorry..

sorry for making u sad.. i promise u.. from now onwards.. i wont think bout tat anymore.. really.. i believe we can last forever.. and i trust we can....